I am Bert, hear me roar. I was a very shy and reserved little girl. if you've seen the real side of me, count yourself lucky and part of the proud few. I know I come off as an airhead a lot. I don't really know why that happens, but I can assure you that I do have more than air in my head. I do have "a nasty streak" according to Dabog. I must admit that he is right.[more?][blog] 
Most of those Brownie/Junior years were a big blur. Summer camp is something I've never experienced before, and it's definitely something I'm proud to be a part of. There's nothing negative about GS, in my opinion. It kept me in close touch with my old friends. One must think I am a complete dork for being 16 and a Girl Scout. Hey if I wasn't a GS I would feel the same way. I absolutely hate how people make fun of GS and BS. I want to break the stereotype of Girl Scouting, the dorky girl who has no life and no friends.Would you ever think of a Girl Scout with long blond hair? With so many guys chasing her? A Girl Scout who isn't pure? I just want to show what being a Girl Scout is really like. [more?][blog]
This is the 1st version of Discovering the Girl. Discovering the Girl is obviously very cheesey name, but that's what I was going for. Most sites are centered around their graphics and not content, but I want to focus on my unique content of GS. Hey look *suggestions*! -800x600 -IE -css -verdana -a computer would be good to have as well [more?][blog]  
|
Monday, December 30, 2002Alright, it's time to tackle a few things.1. What am I trying to do with this pseudo-site? Some ideas for this site included a gallery of camping pictures throughout the years, a website for my little campers, and a site concerning the Silver/Gold Awards. Those ideas all had a general theme of Girl Scouts, so I figured why not make a GS website? I could talk about my GS experience, share pictures, give information about the program, and promote something important to me. So I sort of made something of a site. All of the info is there, although only the skilled highlighter can get to it, considering the font colors got all wacky on me. There aren't any pictures, due to my extreme laziness. Now the blog, it just sucks. I barely update it, mostly because I constantly use my deadjournal for my friends instead. The entries aren't even really about GS, even though that's what I originally wanted. I figured that an entry about a Girl Scout was fine, even if there really wasn't that much relating to the topic of GS. It's not really fine...it's actually a disappointment. I'm not sure what direction this thing is going in, if going at all. posted by Bert at 3:34 PM
Friday, December 06, 2002Not to sound cryptic or anything, but I can understand why people would cut themselves or do other things like that. When I'm hurting emotionally, it just feels good to hurt physically too.posted by Bert at 3:40 PM
Saturday, November 02, 2002A guy I went to middle school with hanged himself last night. I haven't seen him in three years, but I guess news travels quickly. I wasn't his friend, in fact, I didn't like him at all. He was one of those skater pot head types, who always made fun of people and made plenty of crude comments. That's what I remember about him. My mother told me that I shouldn't hold that against him, but I can't help it. I don't feel sorry, and I'll say that right now. Of course, I'm not happy that he felt that he had to kill himself, no I'm not that sick. I just don't feel any remorse. I wish I could, and I guess I'm a jerk because of that. I was crying just now, but not for him, for myself. This situation really has me thinking about myself critically. Nothing good ever comes from introspection, because in my case, I pick out the bad things and focus entirely on my faults. Selfishness is a hard vice to break. All I can think about is myself, and on a day that should be his, I make it mine.posted by Bert at 12:38 AM
Thursday, October 17, 2002Instead of going to mad drinking parties with KB this weekend, I'm going to my cousin's homecoming. Ok, I find the whole situation so adorable! My cousin's a frosh at an all boy's school, and he's kind of shy, so my aunt called me up last night to see if I would go with him. We used to be such good friends when we were kids, but then we haven't seen each other in a looong time. I know some guys that go to his school, but my really good friend Tim will be in Boston randomly for this weekend. Haha I wonder if I'll run into Jack, my first kiss! Nah I haven't really talked to him in a while, and I heard he looks very different from the last time I saw him.Tomorrow I have off? Wow, and I thought it was Wednesday! posted by Bert at 2:57 PM
Tuesday, October 08, 2002Mr O is...confusing.He's written things in his lj, and I just know they're directed at me..but I'm not really sure. Shall we copy and paste? I think so! this is dedicated to the one I.... I took the liberty of underlining the parts that make me think its about me, and including why I think so down here. I just wanted to forget about him, and move on with my life...but it's just so hard when I see something like this. Sometimes I'm just not sure. Ugh, but anyway I do have some more Kiril news. Ha like you're really interested, but if you are...! Last night around 10 I was getting ready to settle down and do my art hw, and had the great idea to call Kiril! So I did, and when he answered he was like hey so now I've got your number! I asked him if he was going to use it, and he told me that depends, and then went off on how he knew me. Initially he thought he knew who I was from art, but wasn't sure until he looked me up in the year book and confirmed it. He told me he would see me on the way in and think to himself, hey that girl's kind of cute....but she's a sophomore...and she goes to Ohara...At first I was excited because he actually thought I was cute before knowing who I was, but then I realized that he didn't want to ask me out because I was a soph and he was a senior. I felt kind of rejected, but he said a whole bunch of stuff (I honestly can't remember what)_but I think he might consider it? I really wish I knew what he said, because it made me feel better. Honestly I just want to hang out with him, not really romantically, but because I idolize him so much. posted by Bert at 5:05 PM
Sunday, September 29, 2002So last night at Friendly's we saw Kiril's friend Tiffany for just a second when she was leaving, and she asked if I called Kiril yet. I told her no, because I have no idea what to say uhh Kiril I love you? She was like yeaaaah!! He'd love it, trust me! So, I decided to call him today. At 4:30ish I got his number out, and with a tum full of butterflies, I dialed the digits. I got his dad on the phone, and after like 5min I finally had Kiril on the line. I was like hey, Kiril, my name's Bert* and I go to O'hara. I got your number from Tiffany and called, because well I have such a crush on you. He just said oh. I asked him if he was freaked out and he said no, now I have someone to talk to while I smoke. ehhh I don't really like the smoking bit, but well enough of my friends smoke anyway..We talked for a good while and he is so cool! He's just really laid back and well he's Kiril! He said he was starting school tomorrow and taking marketing and computer science for his major in animation. We talked about art for a little bit, and he said that art was the only reason that he stayed in O'hara because Mr Buchy was just so amazing. Haha! Oh man, he didn't go to graduation, because on the very last day of school he told Stratts to fuck off! He's my hero for that. He also said that he was the one who made the fro a trend at O'Hara and that last year was when all the black guys finally picked up on it and had their huge fros! I told him I absolutely loved his hair, and at first he thought I said hated it! How could you hate that hair? He said something about being an individualist, and I told him that was the reason I liked him so much. He's so rad! He also asked me my name over and over, asked which Tiffany it was, and said "I see" a number of times. Right before he had to go, he got all quiet and was like uh soo...(I was waiting for him to ask for my number) do you want my cell? I was like ugh...sure! He told me to call sometime and we got off.He is sort of shy in the girl dept., but he was also so cool and Kiril-ish at the same time. At one point he said "So do you want to take it out?" I had no idea what that meant so I just said uh ok. Then we just talked some more. Oh it was so exciting! Wow and this is definitely a first for me, actually calling a guy and telling him I like him. Go me! posted by Bert at 6:20 PM
Saturday, September 28, 2002What a sucky weekend, and it's only Saturday morning. Last night I went out with JW and Bilotti, which was a lot of fun, but I felt pretty guilty. First of all, JW did not want Colleen to go, and I did not protest like a friend should. Second, I was basically using him so I could go out last night. Damn everything will be so much easier in 3 more months, that's right 3 more....ehhh!I knew he was going to break up with her soon, but I feel like it was because of me for some reason. Err he's such a jerk to her, but she's so fucked up that she thinks he is the only guy she'll ever be able to get. In a weird way they're perfect for each other, but then again, they're horrible for each other. She's much better off now, but she's so weak that if he wants some ass, she'll put out right away. I'm worried about her. Last night, Louis said he would get up and walk Shadow this morning, so I could sleep in. So, I went upstairs to watch some TV, and I planned to get up in a few to change and take the contacts out...yeah I feel asleep with the TV on, all the lights on, my clothes on, and my contacts in. When I woke up, I was soo confused! I didn't remember anything except that my contacts were in! I was afraid to open my eyes all the way, because I thought I was going to be blind! I was actually ok, but blurry. So it's 9:30 (so much for sleeping in) and I go downstairs to make myself some pancakes. Shadow was calm, and he didn't bug me to take him out, so I figured Louis took him. At 10 he bugs me, so I get my shoes, turn around, and there is Shadow throwing up in the living room! I ran him outside before he threw up anymore in the house. Then I took him for a nice long walk...without changing my clothes or bathing... Came back and cleaned up his mess, thoroghly pissed at Louis. Oh well, I feel responsible now, because I took care of my sick dog. Of course I just had the nicest shower, and I put some pjs on to be extra comfy ;) posted by Bert at 1:21 PM
Friday, September 27, 2002Changed the layout to feature that lovely vocalist from the band Our Lady Peace, Raine Maida. I must admit, against my will, that the side was ready for a new look. Changing from white and gray to black and red was quite a drastic change, but completely necessary. I don't quite have the time yet to fix the font type stuff on the other pages, but that will come in time. For now you can just enjoy reading my blog, or highlight anything you really have the urge to read.In other news, uhh well there isn't much. I got into a fauxfight with JW, and I've been trying to reach him, but he doesn't answer. I'm feeling a little bad about that, because since I've been trying to be a good friend to Colleen, I've forgotten JW's my friend too. I don't know what I'm doing tonight. I know I'm not going to that dance, thank you God. posted by Bert at 5:42 PM
Saturday, September 14, 2002So last night a bunch of us went to the mall and ate at Ruby Tues for dinner. As luck would have it, Jeff was working that night. He actually remembered me from the last time I was there in June maybe. We were flirting the whole night and it was so much fun. JW noticed that I had him whipped after I sent him for more water-no ice, and he got me another plate of fries complements of him. Oh it was all very innocent. Of course he told me to come back when I'm 18...considering he's 21. I didn't actually realize it then, but he was really saying that he would wait until I'm legal...so we can have all the sex then. Ha. At one point he told JW that he could get better service if he was as pretty as me! Oh I feel so special ;) Alright I don't really care about the rest of the night.posted by Bert at 12:01 PM
Wednesday, September 11, 2002Well it's September 11, I never thought an entire year would have gone by so quickly. It feels surreal today, like it did one year ago, only a little calmer. I don't plan on watching the news today, especially not CNN, because I just don't want to see anymore coverage of the event. I'm sorry for sounding a little insensative for saying this, but September 11 has become so horribly hackneyed and very commercial Coverage was on for weeks on every news station, and CNN is still talking about it constantly. In every class people would just pray for the "victims of sept 11" without thinking, because it was an easy and acceptable prayer for class. No one was really praying for them, or even cared, but it was used for such a long time that it made me sick. I'm just so tired of everyone talking about it. Even if I was directly affected by losing someone, by now I would want to be done with it.posted by Bert at 4:26 PM
Monday, September 09, 2002Why can't I forget about him? I found out some things today that I'm not really happy about at all. He left such an impression on me, and I don't want him to go. I kept telling myself that it was over and that I had to forget about him, but there has always been a feeling of hope at the very bottom of it all. Just now I read something, and I think that last bit of hope is finally gone.posted by Bert at 7:41 PM
Sunday, September 08, 2002My computer desk is so ghetto. Well maybe not ghetto, but it sure is broken. The drawer with the keyboard and mouse broke so I have to type with the keyboard on my lap wiggling all over the place, and the mouse its just messed up. I survived my first day back at school and now I'll give you the run down of my day.1st per Algebra with Ratigan: Ms Ratigan seems to be a pleasant but very frumpy teacher. By frumpy I mean short, plump, and sort of old. She's pretty nice (right now) even though she made me spit out my gum :( Michelle, Steph, Theresa, Julie, and of course Kevin are all sitting pretty close to me so that's a very good thing! My seat is perfect for staring at Kevin and giggling because I know something he doesn't know. 2nd per History with D'Alessandro: D'Alessandro doesn't seem like he's there, that there's just something missing. Hmm I don't know. He vagauely reminds me of Holohan last year, mostly with those silly willy binders that I have to use. Binders do piss me off. I have all sort of buddies in that class, but Michelle is the only one that's sort of near me. I actually sit next to the mysterious Anthony Frateblahblah who I think was the Christmas Tree lot guy. I'll save that story for another time ;) 3rd per French with Vinnie Cozzone: What can I say? I looooooove my French class! There's just something nice about having the same classroom as last year with the same kids and teacher. Of course a few people dropped the class, but smaller classes are much more fun. Oh I'm so excited about French this year, I love my class so much and I can't wait to sing along with Marie Soleil!! 4th Lunch: my table is just so cool. 5th Theology with Mr Spires: Oh man it's that cool dude that always runs in the hallways after school! He's a pretty nifty guy, and I really don't think the class is going to be that hard. Kathy sits right behind me which is so very exciting! Of course she had to let me know that Dewey was in our class, silly Kathy! Kev and Theresa are in my class, and I think there are some other people like Cait, but I just don't know. 6th Art with Barry Buchy: Another familiar class yay! I missed Barry and his quirky behavior over the summer. The class is still fun stuff, but Jim doesn't sit behind me anymore which is kind of sad cause he was fun to talk to. Of course Colleen sits behind me now which might be even cooler. 7th per English with...? That's right, we don't have a teacher which sucks just a little. Oh well I had some nice chat time with Becky and Theresa in our "learning quadrants" or something like that. 8th per Chem with Ms Kelch: This class=Hell. I'm not worried about the actual subject, come on it's track 2 I think I can handle it. The losers in my class worry me. I sit between Ed Harron and that Hawkins boy...both of them are complete idiots, along with almost every other guy in my class. Rosie sits sort of near me, and if she wasn't there I might have to kill myself. This class is going to be worse than the Tick's class. When I came home I bitched to my parents for maybe an hour. Their solution was to move to track 1. Ok well I thought about that during the entire class, and realized that it just was not possible to do without ruining my already great roster. Of course that's only if I was even allowed to at this point. I'm just going to frown and bear it, because why the hell would I grin? The bright spots in class: Rosie, Dom, and Kathy. Be prepared for lots of bitching. On the way to lunch Steph and I stopped by Lush's to say hi and it was so great! We actually ran into his room waving and calling his name. His face lit up and he waved back heh it was so great. He asked us how our rosters were and who our teachers were and then told us that after having him these guys were going to be easy and we'd both get 99s. Then I commented on his new haircut and he said "What haircut? This is my new wig!" We were both laughing hysterically and sort of fell out of the room. He probably heard some kids talking about his hair looking like a wig. Well you know what? Wigs don't have that floating-off-the-head look. He's such a cool dude! Friday night: went to Beck and Jess's to watch Friday the 13th aka the corniest 80's movie ever made. Actually it scared me a little bit.
Wednesday, September 04, 2002I changed the background so it has some gray snappiness in it, because I can do things like that. The old layout is back plus the snappy bg, and it's stayin' like that for a while. Someone needs to slap me the next time I get a crazy idea like that in my head! Maybe I'll get around to adding some more stuff, but with school starting this week I'm not so sure. You see, I'm not quite done my summer reading yet. I have exactly one half of Pride and Prejudice left, which is most likely going to take up a lot of my time, depending if I ever get down to reading it. I finished my first book (close to 600pgs) in four days, it was Circle of Friends, but that's more current and easier to read than good old Jane Austin and her old English. My mother told me that I had to read Jane Austin or else I wasn't part of the family. Well that's not really what she said, but it was close. Apparently my mom, all of her sisters, and her mother (Grandmom hehe!) have this condition that causes them to all read these "classics", fall in love with them, and force their daughters to read the "classics" as well. However, neither of my aunts have any daughters...I'm the only one that has this foisted upon them. Eh I read Gone With The Wind and absolutely adored it. I must admit, Pride and Prejudice is getting a little bit more interesting...Last night was my last night out before school resumes, and I made it count. Lauren had an end of the year sleepover with a great bunch. I had the most amazing time bonding with these girls and playing silly little sleepover games like Psychiatrist and Never Have I Ever. We also made sundaes at 2:30 in the morning and talked until dawn. Shit I'm going to miss this summer, it was the best one ever. I saw so many different people, my public school crowd- both groups, and all of my differet O'Hara peoples. I spend the most amazing 3weeks at camp finishing up my cit with some of the coolest people ever. I went back to camp on my own to prove I could. I really spent my summer well and I'm not quite ready to see it go. ________________________________________________ Hey thanks, thanks for that summer. posted by Bert at 2:15 PM
Tuesday, September 03, 2002Sorry I went crazy, I'll be reverting back to the old layout hopefully sometime today.posted by Bert at 4:25 PM
Sunday, August 25, 2002*cough* Now I remember why I chose to make this layout out of tables. Will someone please kill those ugly scrollbars? Pretty please? urg, just ignore the ugly-esque look I have for the site right now. I promise something that looks pretty if you pretend the site looks nice right now! Aww who am I trying to kid?posted by Bert at 8:35 PM
It's so much easier to keep up with a site when there are frames involved. That was noteworthy indeed. So after what seems like years, I'm thinking of actually doing some site updating. At first I just wanted to make a few changes, but with tables those few changes magnify into one heck of a creepy giant. Creepy giants are the ones you need to watch out for, let me tell ya! So I got my review back, and I wasn't very happy with it. Most of it was completely absurd and the reviewer was...well I'm not even going to dignify that by letting you know what I really think. I don't need to justify myself and what I like, because that's justification enough. Of course now I'm gonna go change this mother, to something much more agreeable. Too bad I don't have any sort of inspiration on a layout. So right now I'll just satisfy myself by finally adding some pictures; just a few from cit I last summer. *Will edit this entry adding a quick link to it. You know what, I think I'm just going to bag the teenie weenie gigantic things along with the tables and install some nice frames ;)
|
